by With the beginning of the new year, many new challenges arrive: how to evolve in the next twelve months so we could become the best version of ourselves? How to remain true to yourself but also stay kind to others? Creating an inner growth map can help you along the way, so here we will try to give you the main guidelines and goals for the year ahead.
Being True To Yourself
Even though it might sound easy at first, the main step towards becoming the best version of ourselves is being honest. Honest in the way we speak, behave and think. This is the hardest part because it requires living aligned with our inner truth, which in most cases doesn’t fit the “truth” which is presented by the media and the outside world.
Our Inner YES and NO
If we want to stay true to ourselves, we must first get to know our real needs and wishes. This can be accomplished by spending more time with ourselves and rebuilding our hobbies and passions. If you find out who you really are and not who “the world told you to be” you will realise which situations and people make you uncomfortable. This is especially useful for people known as people pleasers.
Finding Your Purpose
In a world based on materialistic goods, finding the right profession for you and living to your full potential might come as the biggest challenge. If we don’t know why we are here it is easy to start seeing life as meaningless and therefore taking whatever anyone has to offer. By doing this you may become the target of manipulation.
Inner Child as a Guideline
If you want to find your purpose, you must find your passions. Some you might have lost along the way, and others might have fallen into the category of “not realistic”. If you think you don’t have any hobbies or passions worth pursuing now, you must look into your past. As children, every one of us dreams of a perfect career, so the first step would be to compare how aligned you are now with your younger self.
Taking Action
After you’ve found out which your hobbies and dreams were when you were young, it is time to relive them. They may or may not become your main source of income, but you must remember that only things done from the heart give the best results. So you should include them in your everyday routine.
Taking The Road Less Taken
It comes as no surprise that famous American psychiatrist Scott Peck named this truthful way of living “the road less taken”. It is the path of love, and many people fail to remain on it because it requires sacrifice and dedication. The main habit we must build to stay on this path is discipline – staying committed to our purpose no matter what.
Being Resilient
Even though the spiritual truths that say to be honest and kind to others sound like something that is easily accomplished, this is not the case. That’s why many people fail to stay on the right “track”. The main reason behind this is a lack of discipline or constancy. In a world where immediate gratification is a must, it is very hard to stay patient and resilient.
Think Before You Speak
We can see just how hard it really is to stay truthful if we start observing our everyday life: from the moment we are awake what are our thoughts and actions? If you are objective, you will soon realise that our everyday life is filled with malicious thoughts, words and actions, which go unnoticed because we think that they are not a “big deal”. So, the first step on the journey of becoming a better person is to start actively observing our thoughts and actions.
Truthful and Kind
In this attempt we may apply the famous Rumi quote: “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” Because of our need to talk, even about trivial and superficial things, we will soon realise that even this “easy task” takes a lot of practice and commitment.
Critical Thinking
Actively thinking and speaking has another advantage above all: by doing this you will become more critical and objective, not just towards yourself but also others. In this way, you will limit the chances of being manipulated, by other people directly or by the media.
Avoid Manipulation
In times when the truth is hidden under the shiny veil of lies, this will help you to exclude malicious people and intentions from your life. This will save you a lot of trouble. So, thinking before speaking and listening to our intentions will also manifest in the way that we will start to see other people’s real intentions too. By doing this, we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from potential troubles.
Build Self Confidence
After we’ve realised not everyone comes to us with good intentions, we will soon find ourselves in situations which require NO as an answer. And saying “no” comes with two main sacrifices: not meeting other people’s expectations and therefore losing some people in our life.
Learn to say NO
If you are a people pleaser, “disappointing” other people will come as some kind of world catastrophe for you. But if you don’t learn to say “no”, you will have another bigger catastrophe: living an untruthful life. And your own life and well-being always come first.
Putting your needs first
As we have seen, once you realise you are constantly facing potential manipulations and other people’s expectations, you will soon discover that it is necessary to “draw the line”. You must learn your priorities and potential deal breakers. And you can do this only after you’ve started putting your own needs first.
The Power of Observation
Observing our thoughts and actions objectively will help us to observe others too, and to realise when is the time to say “no” and protect ourselves. You can start by speaking less and allowing others to show themselves and their true intentions through their words and actions.
Kind vs. Selfish
However, after this a new challenge appears: not being selfish along the way. Just because you’ve found your truth doesn’t mean you have a right to offend or disrespect others. This is why it’s so important to learn tolerance and acceptance. It is not enough to say NO whenever you feel like it, you must KNOW when is the right time, what are the right words and which is the best approach for that person.
Practising Empathy
Needless to say that we learn this through empathy and the realisation that everyone has their own truth. And if they are now hurting others while pursuing it, we must accept that their way is different from ours.
Staying Humble
This can be accomplished by remaining humble. Ego suspends us from realising that we are one with others. Vanity is our biggest flaw. Because if one isolates himself and starts thinking he is better than everyone else, he becomes lonely and resentful. This will cause other malicious actions, so you must realise when you are not seeing right blinded by your ego and superiority.
Finding the Right People Along the Way
If you are lucky enough to follow your heart, you will see that many things society puts in front of us like image, money, and status, are fake and not truthful to our nature. You will learn that the materialistic side is just a superficial part of people and things and that the main truth comes from feelings of comfort, support, companionship and love. Everything else is just an add-on which is made up to hide deep values which are hard to maintain.
Choosing Your Surroundings
From the things listed above, we can see how working on ourselves is the only way in which we will be able to acknowledge the right and honest people who fit our circle. And this is very important because as the old saying goes “You become what you surround yourself with”. And this refers to our inner world but also the world around us. Therefore, we must learn to choose wisely.
Accepting Change
Another important goal for you to establish in the year ahead is to build a conscience about change. If you are in a bad place right now, you have to stay hopeful and know that this state won’t last forever. Just like happiness. This is why it is so important to live in the moment. Because every life situation evolves and changes over time, nothing stays the same.
New Year’s List
- Being honest
- Following your heart
- Spending time with yourself
- Listening to your inner child
- Finding your hobbies and passions
- Pursuing your life purpose
- Being constant
- Choosing the path of love and acceptance
- Being observant
- Practising critical thinking
- Active listening
- Loving yourself
- Avoiding manipulation
- Building confidence
- Staying kind and humble
- Choosing your circle wisely
- Maintaining healthy surroundings
- Accepting change
Conclusion – Key Take Away
The path towards becoming the best version of ourselves is a psychological journey that requires self-awareness, honesty, and conviction. Being true to ourselves, understanding our innermost needs and desires, and identifying our passions and interests, we can create a road-map for our inner growth and fulfillment in life.
The key is to remain mindful of our thoughts, words, and actions. This is possible by giving the self priority and self attention. De-clutter yourself from unnecessary people, toxic thoughts and unwanted engagements. Bring in acceptance and forgiveness in your life. Thus you can cultivate a positive mindset, increase emotional resilience, and make conscious choices that align to your authentic selves. Remember that the road less taken is often the most rewarding, so stay committed to improving your life and finding the lives purpose. By incorporating these psychological techniques, you are setting yourself up for a soulful and peaceful year.
